Circles of Influence

There is something I am concerned about.  Well, there are many things, but this is one of the giants that have shadowed my thoughts as of late.  The horror of what is becoming has finally reared its ugly head to the point of me being able to openly address it in my own life.  My hope and prayer is that you will be able to relate with my situation and we may seek out a solution together.

Being a “Navy brat”, I am used to having a few good friends for short periods of time.  Over the course of 20 years, I’ve had several best friends, many close friends, and I daresay 100s of acquaintances.  In fact, most of them I keep up with on Facebook.

I remember a time after I had been settled in Virginia for many long years when I had many friends and I kept up with each of them as best as I could.  I cared about everyone.  I had a large circle of influence over those I interacted with.

As the years have gone by, I have seen this slip in my social life.  I have become less invested, even interested in the lives and troubles of others.  I still have a group of close friends, and I am ever loyal to that small circle of people.  But what I have realized looking back is that I once had a bigger circle of people I was loyal to.  I once cared more about many instead of caring more about few as I do today.

My influence has lessened.  My passion for people has dwindled.  When I try to pinpoint how exactly this happened, I can safely conclude that things in my personal life spun out of balance and I became socially selfish and spiritually introverted.  I closed up my walls and locked the doors while I did some repairs emotionally.

In the process of doing that, I became less concerned for others.  I became hardened to the struggles of others because I was dealing with my own junk.  Over the past few years, I have become hard hearted and cold towards the suffering of others because of the ordeal that I myself had suffered. 

But this is not an excuse worth hiding behind.  I used to be a trustworthy companion.  I used to lead by example and be the friend to many.  In short, I used to love people.  And now I see myself only loving my friends.  Jesus had something to say about that. “If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that” (Matthew 5:47).

I have some heart changing that I need to do.  I have not loved selflessly and made myself truly available for the people in my life in a long time.  I can feel myself becoming a shell of who I used to be.  This has got to end.

There is a scene from the movie 10,000 BC, in which an elder warrior is explaining to a younger man with a great destiny before him what it means to be great.  Here’s what Tic’Tic says:

“A good man draws a circle around himself and cares for those within.  His woman, his children.
 Other men draw a larger circle and bring within their brothers and sisters. But some men have a great destiny. They must draw around themselves a circle that includes many, many more.  Your father was one of those men. You must decide for yourself whether you are, as well.”

The fact is, it is expected of us as social creatures to take care of those within our circle.  But a greater person is the one who draws a larger circle around himself and draws as many into it as can possibly fit.  I used to draw larger circles than I do now.

I am called to draw large circles and care for those within.  I am called to leadership.  I am called to bravery.  I am called to serve the Lord and the souls He puts in my path. 

I am not called to close in my walls and invite in only a few and offer no love or help to others.  I am not called to form my own little social club and bar the gates so that no other can enter.  And yet this is what I have done, in a way.  For someone who spent years in service to those around me and seeing God work through that and finding true joy and contentment out of that love and service, there is shame in the coldness I feel towards others today.

The challenge God has laid at my feet and I am throwing at your feet as well is this:  have you allowed the pain and suffering of your own life to shrink your circle of influence among your friends?  Have you allowed your own trials to stop you from being a bright light of hope and love towards those who you interact with?  Today is the day to end the selfish social game.  Today is the day to start serving and truly seeing the people around you.

I’m going to call my brother out onto the floor again as I did in my last post.  We are men.  We are not dominate or better than others, but we have been called to a role of leadership.  That role requires service and love towards others.  Just as good king loves his land and his people, a good leader must love his followers and serve them above himself.  A good man must draw a large circle around himself and lovingly invite all to enter into it.  Tear down your walls of self pity, prejudice, and selfishness today.  All are worthy of your time, your smile, and your service.  Take up the mantle of manhood that Christ calls us towards and open up to the people around us.

What does your circle of influence look like?  It is large and open to many people, or has it shrunk over the years and do you now only trust a few with your time and love?  Examine your heart and make the change if a change needs to be made.  So God has spoken to my soul and so I have declared it to you.