So it’s that time again when people stop to look
back and reflect on the past year. If
you’ve been keeping up with my blog over the years (Wow….it’s been years
already?!) you might know that I usually spend time telling you about all the
ways I failed that year. I will always
be my worst critic. I know my heart
better than anyone else with the exception of the One who created it. So I would not be surprised if some of you
might be waiting to hear from me about my disappointments from this year. Because it would be true, I am not where I
wish I was. I have so far to go and I am
beginning to realize that I will always believe myself to be more capable. I will never be truly satisfied with where I’m
at because I will always be pushing myself to go further. So to go ahead and get it out early, this
year showed me a lot of my faults, weaknesses, and the strongholds in my life
that I have been hesitant, even unwilling to fully yield to God. These are things I’m working through and these
are things that will not be fixed over night.
That being said, what I really want for this post is to be a reflection of all the things I’m thankful for that I have seen this year. The blessings that are so difficult to focus on in the midst of life. Now that you have the game plan, we can start.
I am thankful foremost…for my family. The past few years have been very different and very hard on us. The way my family functions and relates to each other is very different than it used to be. Much has changed. But through all the crazy circumstances, whether that be my father leaving, our house being broken into (once attempted, once successfully), or even each of us having to step into a stage of life that we don’t want to be in, but is necessary, we have done it as a family. My mom isn’t just my mom. She is my buddy. She is my role model. She is the one that brings clarity and wisdom to my “new adult” problems. She is a trusted friend and someone I can laugh with. We have a different, even closer, relationship now than we’ve ever had. Despite all of the fires we’ve been through in life, I could never regret going through any of it seeing the way I’ve come to love and treasure my mom even more through it all.
Then there’s my sister. Oh Mikaela…the one who knows every button to push to get on my nerves, but has my back through every problem. She has never abandoned me to go through something alone. She is the one who slips notes of encouragement under my door, randomly makes me breakfast (when I’m not in school) “just because”, and loans me money when I’m broke and need a little help. She is my best friend and has always been there for me. I can annoy her endlessly and she can drive me up the wall, but if you hurt her, I’ll happily break your face, and put it back together for you just so I could break it again. She is my beautiful, awesome sister and she has one of the toughest, most enduring hearts I’ve ever seen. This year has had its challenges, but not having a loyal family to lean on has never been one of those challenges. Thank you God for such a blessing!
Speaking of blessings and families, I am so blessed to have family outside of my mom and sister. The Cash family (Yes, you’re included Vince!) has been family to me this year just as much as my blood family. They have truly been a boon for me and I do not know where I would be without having such a wonderful group of people in my life.
Colton has been the one to keep me on my toes. Whether it’s knocking on my window after midnight because he wants to hang out, working out together, playing video games, or choreographing a fight scene, he is my brother. Our personalities clash, but somewhere in there is a mutual respect and understanding of each other. We go through awesome experiences together, and we pull each other through tough times. We fight, even tick each other off severely sometimes, but I will always have his back and I trust him to have mine.
Vince is pretty incredible. He keeps me accountable, and we advise each other on things close to our hearts as close friends…brothers…should do. His talent in music will always astound me and remind me of the greatness of God. We have different tastes on many things, but that has never stopped us from hanging out, sharing many laughs, and encouraging each other towards godliness. I am proud of him and his accomplishments and honored to be part of his journey. He is certainly a key part of mine.
Mr. David has been a father-figure for me lately and his leadership and example in how to act has been a godsend. I have never doubted what a man of God should like when I’m around him. He is passionate about serving and makes ministry apart of his life. He loves his family and leads in such a unique and thoughtful way. I have had many goofy, light-hearted conversations with him, and I’ve had several serious man-to-man conversations with him. He is one that I hope to never stop learning from. He is my hero in a way that words can’t do justice.
Mrs. Terrie has been my mother away from home. She is who she is and you’ll never catch her apologizing for it. She has taught me a boldness, and yet a tenderness about ministry. She is a well of wisdom. And through it all, she (truly the whole family) has taught me just how healing it is to just laugh, enjoy life, and have fun. She doesn’t take herself too seriously, but she knows her stuff. She is a joy to be around and serve alongside.
Last, but certainly not least…Carley. Just hearing her name puts a smile on my face. She is the delight of my heart, and I never grow tired of talking to her. She is the truest of friends, knowing when to be hard on me and push me onward, but also sensitive enough to realize when I just need someone to talk to and work my thoughts out on. My day has been made by something she has said more times than I can count, and even though we sometimes disagree and butt heads, I cannot stand to be mad at her for too long. Her heart is such a treasure and her mind has depths to it that I am sure I will never truly comprehend or understand. My favorite thing about her is that the longer and harder I chase her, the more I learn about myself and what God intends for me to become. My manhood and my walk with Christ directly affects the way I see her, talk to her, and value her because she is so hidden in God. Her friendship and loyalty are so valuable to me, I wouldn't trade them for anything.
I love my family. And I am thankful to the Lord for putting each of them in my life. He is good and I often take Him and His blessings for granted. It is too easy for me to assume that I’m going to get a blessing because I’m a Christian. I talk to God, talk about God, and hang out with people who do the same, so sometimes I am guilty of not appreciating the people and the things He has given me because God blessing people is so common place. I am learning that there is always something to be thankful for. And it really doesn’t matter what is going wrong or what has my heart heavy with fear and worry; Jesus is still my King and friend. That should trump everything else. So this Thanksgiving and Christmas, I am learning a spirit of thankfulness. I am learning to be content with things not going my way, because I have a God who loves me and pours out blessings I could never deserve and those gifts outweigh my problems.
And of course, there is so much more I’m thankful for. I am thankful for a job with good Christian people who I respect and enjoy being around, I am thankful that though my father has left, we still speak and have some sort of a relationship. I am thankful for my church and the opportunities I have to serve there. There is so much God has given me and allowed me to be a part of. I cannot help but be thankful and humbled by His goodness and faithfulness to me, even when I’m not being the best son and ambassador His kingdom deserves. I have been given so much.
When you sit back and reflect on your life, what are you thankful for?
